It’s been an adjustment, this working from home thing. I am struggling a bit with the isolation and lack of real human contact.
Back in the spring of 2020 I was ready to work outside the home again as my son was settled into a great school that offered early care and after care, I had family members willing to help out on sick days. So I applied for a position as an outreach librarian at our local library. Outreach and books are two of my greatest passions! This dovetailed perfectly with the hospice work I was doing as an end of life death doula which also came to a screeching halt due to Covid.
And then....Covid hit. I left my job as an outreach librarian back in February so I could be home with my son. It was a tough choice to make, but having already raised four children I am all too familiar with the fact that they grow up in the blink of an eye. These years fly by.
We all need to do what feels right for us and our children. What feels right is different for each of us.
I happen to live a very unconventional life. I learned many years ago that what we call “security” almost always comes at a cost. Be it relationship security void of depth and connection, Job security causing us to merely exist in survival mode, and a myriad of other choices we make in order to feel in control of our lives while our passion dwindles away and we become numb to passion and living fully alive, filled with regret. I lived that way for so long during the first half of my adult life.
The “I love yous” never spoken out of fear of rejection, the no’s too afraid to express, fearing others opinions and judgements and choosing to make myself small for acceptance and validation at the cost of my own authenticity. I was not living a life of truth...and yes, with that realization came painful loss and betrayal. It’s inevitable.
Joseph Campbell wrote:
“Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn't have opened for anyone else.”
These words have haunted me since I first read them many years ago.
This is how I choose to live my life.
Everything always works out, always...
As I stepped out of my comfort zone my creativity suddenly busted open in ways I never could have imagined. So I’m following my bliss in this area and trusting I am right where I am supposed to be.
I was sitting in my workspace this morning which overlooks the garden and felt a deep sense of gratitude, knowing I am held safe and protected as I day by day become more and more the woman I truly am.
Unconventional? Why yes...I live a life of trusting my intuition/God/The Universe and taking one step at a time knowing I am in alignment with life, with love even when I have no idea where I’m going at times.
I am grateful for the support and encouragement I’ve received from each of you.
I appreciate each and every purchase of my art, each and every encouraging word. It means so very much to me...thank you